Hello and welcome to the reflections of an inner city rambler.
I'm just another 30 something male, trying to make sense of the world in a world that makes no sense. I like a rant and I like a laugh and I hope you (at the very least) get a laugh at my ramblings.
I've started proceedings by posting some of my old rants and musings, which were posted on one of the many social network sites a while back. I always wrote for my own entertainment and peace of mind but I noticed that I started to gain a few regular readers (I think 'fans' might sound too arrogant), so I must have been doing something right. Right? I'll allow you to decide.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
A poem of sorts
You might think this is bollocks but I quite like it considering the way I wrote it. It was written when I stayed in the West-end a few years back. I was lying on my bed and could only see the sky and rooftops out of the window due to the way I was lying, so i just wrote what I could see around me and a few more random thoughts...
Fly on the window, first of today
Clouds in the distance, all fluffy and grey
Rain on the roof tiles look slippy and wet
Head full of nonsense but not with regret.
Chimneys on rooftops seem smaller each day
Long gone the smokies, as gas paves the way
Cloud patterns shifting, the darkness draws near
Fly's on the window and I'm stuck in here.
Waiting for phonecalls, I lie on my bed
3 worn out pillows supporting my head.
Sitting in silence, guitar at my feet
creeky old bed frame and blue crumpled sheets.
Bags full of change sit on top of some drawers
I'm sat in peace while there's kids fighting wars
Who gives a fuck for the man in the street?
Certainly isn't the people I meet!
Fly on the window, first of today
Clouds in the distance, all fluffy and grey
Rain on the roof tiles look slippy and wet
Head full of nonsense but not with regret.
Chimneys on rooftops seem smaller each day
Long gone the smokies, as gas paves the way
Cloud patterns shifting, the darkness draws near
Fly's on the window and I'm stuck in here.
Waiting for phonecalls, I lie on my bed
3 worn out pillows supporting my head.
Sitting in silence, guitar at my feet
creeky old bed frame and blue crumpled sheets.
Bags full of change sit on top of some drawers
I'm sat in peace while there's kids fighting wars
Who gives a fuck for the man in the street?
Certainly isn't the people I meet!
Bricks and beef curtains
A friend of mine once said "If women didn't have fannies, ye'd chuck bricks at them!". Now, being a lover of the fairer sex, I think that's a tad harsh but I have to admit that most really ain't playing with a full deck. I'm not talking about relationship stuff here (coz even they'll admit they are aff their rocker in that department!) but really just general day to day stuff. Common sense if ye like. It really is evident that it ain't so common.
I was on a bus this morning and as is standard, people got up from their seats, just before the bus stop to form an orderly queue along the aisle, until it is time to get off. Now usually there is some idiot who tries to push forward from the back of the queue whilst muttering "excuse me, this is my stop" but this mornings incident was fucking hilarious. The woman at the back of said queue asked the girl in front if we were approaching Bridge street (hell knows why she couldn't see, as she was wearing thick enough specs) and the girl responded in the affirmative. The bespectacled one then started shouting "Driver, Driiiiiveeeeeeer!!!!!! Can you stop please? Driiiver can you stop please coz I need to get off here?!!!". What in the name of Greek buggery did she think the long queue in front of her was for? Same wi the daft fucks who try to push their way to the front. All queuing to have a swaatch at the lovely driver? Queuing for lottery tickets? A gym and dip session? What? Are people really that daft?
Women in shops is next on the agenda. Picture the scene. You are in the supermarket with a basket or trolley load of groceries. The sales assistant/check-out person or whatever they are called these days scans all the stuff through. Those sensible folks will be ramming the food into a polly bag as the items are scanned. Those not so sensible leave it until everything has been scanned and cause a bit of a tail-back. That's not the end of it though. Why the fuck do women (and it is really only women who do this) then wait until they are told the total cost of their shopping before going "Oh! Wait till I find my purse"? This is normally situated at the bottom of a handbag, or rucksack, which is on a par with Mary poppins bag. It takes them half an hour to find the purse and there's cunts like me stood behind them getting angrier and angrier by the second. Didn't they realise they might have to pay at some point? Did they think the store manager was going to come over and say "Don't you worry about the money love. I'll get it today"? Even if they were shopping in Lidl, which is cheap as chips, it would still cost something.
When I hit the shops I've always got my bag of ginger bottles ready on the counter and I know exactly how many I have. It's not difficult! It's the same on buses (although they don't take gingies). There are signs up which read "have the correct fare ready". I have mine in my hand when boarding the bus. Again, women have theirs in the bottom of their bag and never remember from day to day how much their journey costs. It's £1:35 hen or £1:30 if ye get the sprinter ya lunatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All that said though, ye've got tae love 'em. I know I do
I was on a bus this morning and as is standard, people got up from their seats, just before the bus stop to form an orderly queue along the aisle, until it is time to get off. Now usually there is some idiot who tries to push forward from the back of the queue whilst muttering "excuse me, this is my stop" but this mornings incident was fucking hilarious. The woman at the back of said queue asked the girl in front if we were approaching Bridge street (hell knows why she couldn't see, as she was wearing thick enough specs) and the girl responded in the affirmative. The bespectacled one then started shouting "Driver, Driiiiiveeeeeeer!!!!!! Can you stop please? Driiiver can you stop please coz I need to get off here?!!!". What in the name of Greek buggery did she think the long queue in front of her was for? Same wi the daft fucks who try to push their way to the front. All queuing to have a swaatch at the lovely driver? Queuing for lottery tickets? A gym and dip session? What? Are people really that daft?
Women in shops is next on the agenda. Picture the scene. You are in the supermarket with a basket or trolley load of groceries. The sales assistant/check-out person or whatever they are called these days scans all the stuff through. Those sensible folks will be ramming the food into a polly bag as the items are scanned. Those not so sensible leave it until everything has been scanned and cause a bit of a tail-back. That's not the end of it though. Why the fuck do women (and it is really only women who do this) then wait until they are told the total cost of their shopping before going "Oh! Wait till I find my purse"? This is normally situated at the bottom of a handbag, or rucksack, which is on a par with Mary poppins bag. It takes them half an hour to find the purse and there's cunts like me stood behind them getting angrier and angrier by the second. Didn't they realise they might have to pay at some point? Did they think the store manager was going to come over and say "Don't you worry about the money love. I'll get it today"? Even if they were shopping in Lidl, which is cheap as chips, it would still cost something.
When I hit the shops I've always got my bag of ginger bottles ready on the counter and I know exactly how many I have. It's not difficult! It's the same on buses (although they don't take gingies). There are signs up which read "have the correct fare ready". I have mine in my hand when boarding the bus. Again, women have theirs in the bottom of their bag and never remember from day to day how much their journey costs. It's £1:35 hen or £1:30 if ye get the sprinter ya lunatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All that said though, ye've got tae love 'em. I know I do
The perils of settling
We've all seen them. Possibly even been them. The couple in the restaurant or on holiday, sitting with each other and looking like a wet weekend. They've been together for so long that they don't know anything else. They've forgotten what it's like to look lovingly into someone's eyes and know that the person staring back fancies the arse off of you, just as much as you do them. Yet these people plod on miserably for after all, this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Right?
Now call me crazy or call me a dreamer but I'd like to think the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with would be a person who makes me smile. A person I enjoy spending time with. A person, who although might piss me off from time to time, I still fancy as much now as I did when I met her.
So many times I've heard friends say "but that dies off. There's more too it that that". Indeed, there is more to a relationship than attraction alone but it makes part of the bigger package. It's not just the attraction part though. Some couple's spend forever arguing and bitching about each other but stay together because they've gotten into the habit. Got stuck in a rut and just stayed there.
Well it's surely easier for all us singletons, right? Wrong! Sure we aren't in that horrible position of being stuck with someone we don't love or don't fancy or just plain hate but it's possibly just around the corner. Throughout the years I've seen a few friends go off with people they'd never have considered in the past. People who had the same crazy notions as me, about true love and finding the right person before deciding to spend the rest of your life with them and then one day they start making remarks like "I know I shouldn't just settle but it's very tempting". I don't know if I'm missing the point but I've never been tempted with a life of discontent and unhappiness.
These girls (and it is nearly always girls by the way) seemed to think that because they have reached their 30's they are about to miss the boat. About to be left on the shelf. About to be left at home with no-one to talk to but the 7 cats they've bought for company, as they are so fucking miserable. What's that all about? Is 30 that old? Do you suddenly become less attractive at 30? I can assure you that you certainly do not!
But it's not just about the guys with you women, is it? Your body clock is ticking and you want a kid. You want a kid so badly that you are willing to compromise your happiness and settle for the first guy who shows you a bit of interest. A guy you have nothing in common with. A guy who (you've told me on many occasions) you do not fancy. A guy who, although might be nice, is not the guy for you.
Is this a healthy environment for a kid to be growing up in? A childhood marred by miserable parents arguing and both vying for the kid's affection, as there is certainly no affection left between Mum and Dad. A house, full of resentment and bitterness.
I seem to remember having a happy childhood, with loving parents, who loved each other just as much as they loved their kids. You could see the spark in their eyes when they looked at each other and just knew they were so right for each other. Fair enough, they fought like cat and dog, as most parents do but they always made up and they never let their differences compromise our happiness.
This might all seem to be spiraling out of control but every action has a reaction and things can get out of control. So just remember, before you make that commitment. Before you share that house or walk up that aisle, it's not just your happiness which is at stake but for Fuck sake, make sure your happiness is a priority before it get's to that stage.
I'm rambling now but a few years ago, me and my then girlfriend were not getting on and after 3 years of earache I'd just about had enough. I believe she picked up on this but instead of asking what was wrong she gave me the classic ultimatum. "We can either move in together or split up".
Well kids, I bet you can guess my response? I decided a life of misery wouldn't suit me (quelle surprise?), so here I am today, pouring my thoughts out to you.
Hope you enjoy and take heed!
Now call me crazy or call me a dreamer but I'd like to think the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with would be a person who makes me smile. A person I enjoy spending time with. A person, who although might piss me off from time to time, I still fancy as much now as I did when I met her.
So many times I've heard friends say "but that dies off. There's more too it that that". Indeed, there is more to a relationship than attraction alone but it makes part of the bigger package. It's not just the attraction part though. Some couple's spend forever arguing and bitching about each other but stay together because they've gotten into the habit. Got stuck in a rut and just stayed there.
Well it's surely easier for all us singletons, right? Wrong! Sure we aren't in that horrible position of being stuck with someone we don't love or don't fancy or just plain hate but it's possibly just around the corner. Throughout the years I've seen a few friends go off with people they'd never have considered in the past. People who had the same crazy notions as me, about true love and finding the right person before deciding to spend the rest of your life with them and then one day they start making remarks like "I know I shouldn't just settle but it's very tempting". I don't know if I'm missing the point but I've never been tempted with a life of discontent and unhappiness.
These girls (and it is nearly always girls by the way) seemed to think that because they have reached their 30's they are about to miss the boat. About to be left on the shelf. About to be left at home with no-one to talk to but the 7 cats they've bought for company, as they are so fucking miserable. What's that all about? Is 30 that old? Do you suddenly become less attractive at 30? I can assure you that you certainly do not!
But it's not just about the guys with you women, is it? Your body clock is ticking and you want a kid. You want a kid so badly that you are willing to compromise your happiness and settle for the first guy who shows you a bit of interest. A guy you have nothing in common with. A guy who (you've told me on many occasions) you do not fancy. A guy who, although might be nice, is not the guy for you.
Is this a healthy environment for a kid to be growing up in? A childhood marred by miserable parents arguing and both vying for the kid's affection, as there is certainly no affection left between Mum and Dad. A house, full of resentment and bitterness.
I seem to remember having a happy childhood, with loving parents, who loved each other just as much as they loved their kids. You could see the spark in their eyes when they looked at each other and just knew they were so right for each other. Fair enough, they fought like cat and dog, as most parents do but they always made up and they never let their differences compromise our happiness.
This might all seem to be spiraling out of control but every action has a reaction and things can get out of control. So just remember, before you make that commitment. Before you share that house or walk up that aisle, it's not just your happiness which is at stake but for Fuck sake, make sure your happiness is a priority before it get's to that stage.
I'm rambling now but a few years ago, me and my then girlfriend were not getting on and after 3 years of earache I'd just about had enough. I believe she picked up on this but instead of asking what was wrong she gave me the classic ultimatum. "We can either move in together or split up".
Well kids, I bet you can guess my response? I decided a life of misery wouldn't suit me (quelle surprise?), so here I am today, pouring my thoughts out to you.
Hope you enjoy and take heed!
A poem
It's exciting and scary. Goes from fun to hairy
And all in the blink of an eye
At first you feel flattered and soon you'll be shattered
And still you don't really know why.
You think you don't want it or planned to avoid it
And all for the sake of your heart
No longer jump in with two feet and a grin
Coz you're too fucking scared for a start.
It happens with age when the innocence fades
And you realise to some it's a game
With no clear cut rules, though who'd rush in but fools
They only have themselves to blame.
So how can you tell when it's really gone well?
These thoughts drive us all round the bend
The way that it goes is that nobody knows
Till they come through for you in the end.
And all in the blink of an eye
At first you feel flattered and soon you'll be shattered
And still you don't really know why.
You think you don't want it or planned to avoid it
And all for the sake of your heart
No longer jump in with two feet and a grin
Coz you're too fucking scared for a start.
It happens with age when the innocence fades
And you realise to some it's a game
With no clear cut rules, though who'd rush in but fools
They only have themselves to blame.
So how can you tell when it's really gone well?
These thoughts drive us all round the bend
The way that it goes is that nobody knows
Till they come through for you in the end.
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